Why We Run...

Distance running is something you have to do to understand why people do it. In a family with four kids, my sister Audrey and I run. And though our brother Paul and sister Erin do not, they are very instrumental in our drive with their support and love. Unfortunately Audrey and I do not have the knees that will allow us to run for as long as we would like in our lives. So with every step we feel the pain and are reminded of the time ticking away on our race days.
I started running at a young age - I was a natural instantly. And I loved to do it - I felt complete and fresh every time I did.
In school, when I was on the track and cross-country teams, I was obviously out to win the race. I think my push to do so, along with other sports I was playing, and the job I held, wore my little body down to a point where I was so exhausted I had to stop running all together. I had to stop sports in general for a while and focus on getting back to a healthy point in my life. What I realized later in life is that if I would have been smarter about it, I would have been a great runner for many years. I can’t go back and change my life process, so I have to learn from where I came from and make a better future for myself. I think I have done this very well.
As it stand I am a runner - I will always be - but I am a runner because I need it. I am a runner because I want it. When I race now, I race for the thrill and the accomplishment. I will always finish a race I start - I will not come in last - and I will run the whole thing. Running races is also a good way to support great causes. I run for Cancer, Clean Air, Autism, Stroke victims, just to name a few.
Running creates a great bonding experience. Having a race as a goal and training to get to that goal draws people closer. So when Audrey also showed interest in running at a young age, I was excited to think of the opportunities we would have as running buddies to race together.
You should know that Erin and Audrey did not grow up with Paul and myself. We are half siblings and in a too long to explain way, grew up in three different houses. As adults we do try to talk and visit more than when we were younger, but its very hard in this busy world today. So when Audrey was sent to Iraq in 2004, in my mind I knew when she got back I wouldn't waste any more time being out of touch because I was "too busy." We made a promise to each other via our many emails while she was over there, that when she got back, we would start running races together. What made this promise even more bittersweet was the fact that after already having both of my knees scoped I had to have a major kneecap realignment surgery in October of 2004. I was not able to walk for a month, on crutches for three months, and went through intense physical therapy for 9 months. So when we made this promise, I knew I was going under the knife and I also knew there was a chance that there would be no more racing. It was heartbreaking for me to have to think about the one thing I truly loved to do - the one thing that makes me feel relaxed and true to myself, could be gone. But it was something that needed to be corrected because I found myself sitting at the bottom of the two sets of stairs in my house crying, because I could not put enough weight on my leg to climb them. Something had to be done - Living in that kind of pain is unnecessary.
With my sister back from war and my surgery successfully completed, we set our first race - The Prefontaine Memorial 10K in Coos bay Oregon on September 16th 2006!! I love Steve Prefontaine - He is and will always be, an inspiration to all runners! I felt it would only be fit to run his race in his town and finish on his high school track.
I trained, carefully, she trained, joyfully, and we made it to Coos Bay and ran our first race together. The finish of the race was 3/4 around Prefontaine's HS track. To enter that fence and to step on that track was one of the mostly incredible feelings I have ever had as a runner. One of the best runners to ever strap on the shoes use to break records here. He was everywhere that day!! What made it even more emotional was when Audrey, who had already finished, waited for me on the far straight away of the track and ran the tail end of the race with me - she saw me to the finish!!! She has an amazing soul.
After a fantastic weekend in Oregon we knew we had to race together many more times.
The next challenge was the Virginia Beach Shamrock Half Marathon March 18, 2007!!
My family is Irish, Audrey was born on St. Patrick's Day, and the race was sponsored by Yuengling Brewery, which is located in Pottsville, PA - which also happens to be the city all four of us were born. This race was customized for us!!
But could my knees hold up for a half marathon?! In my mind I could run for days - As I trained, I realized I could not.
It was a hard few months of training - which ended with Cortisone shots in both knees to get me through the race.
I was determined - as a runner to go through with my goal - to take the next step in my life. I needed this in more ways than anyone will understand or than I can even write about. To know I would have my sister next to me - was a huge comfort and an even bigger inspiration. The reasons to not do this were not enough in my book to keep me from this experience that would live on in my heart forever.
The morning of the race - it was mid 20's and windy at 7:00 in the morning. I hardly slept the night before and I woke up wanting to spew all over the place. I was nervous, excited, scared, motivated, anxious, tired, and tense all at the same time. The first 6 miles we ran together and they flew by. Then Audrey needed to spread her legs a little bit - I was on my own, with my music, to ponder the whole act of running. To really think about what it took for me to get to this point and to enjoy every step and every moment of what I was doing, because I knew this is as far as I go in one race. There will be no more half marathons, no more 10 milers, and never a marathon. When you lose a dream, you really learn to cherish the piece of the dream you can hold on to. This was one huge piece. So after mile 9 when I thought I really needed to stop moving - I kept going. At mile 10 when they were playing the theme from Rudy on the loudspeaker - I threw a beer on myself just so I could say I did. At mile 11 I knew I did it!! I made it through this race and I was still moving!! I don't even remember mile 12 because all I could see was 13 coming up!!! Mile 13 my legs just took me through the finish at 13.1!!! I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT!!! I knew I could and I knew I would, but after I did, I knew I could say with much pride I did it!!
Standing right across the line waiting for me was Audrey. I ran into her arms and she did not let me go for a good long time. We gathered our medals and our foil blankets and our hats and found Erin, she knew this was not easy for either one of us, but our determination and passion for running makes us do amazing things.
The exhaustion and the pain and the cold were pretty dominating that morning - but I felt nothing. I just ran the longest race ever for me, the day after my baby sister’s birthday, it was a great moment.
Who knows when the next race will be for us or where it will be for that matter. But there will be more and we will be together.
So why do we run? Because we can, because we love it, it’s who we are. And when being a runner is in you - you are overwhelmed by the need to do it. And after you do it - you are overwhelmed by the feeling of accomplishing something that not a lot of people choose to do, nor do they understand those who do choose to do it.
I'm a runner - its what I love!!